Dear Me,

i started smoking 50 years ago,when i got married and decided to have children i stopped smoking, it was very hard for me.
i used to dream about smoking in the restroom at work, but i made it, and stopped smoking for 20 years.
one day i discovered that all my children were smoking behind my back.
i said to hell with it and started smoking again. ten years later i had a massive heart attack and had to have open heart surgery.
i didn’t smoke for a couple months and decided to start smoking my favorite pipe after meals and it just kept going.
now i smoke at least a pack of cigs, two or three cigars, and sometimes my pipe.
i now have copd, use a bipap mask at night along with oxygen, and have been in the hospital 3 times this year. i have tried to quit cold turkey 4 times and it hasn’t worked.
i know that i want to quit but am having a hard time on my own, i know no one can make me quit except myself, i just need help, by the way my name is james.